Stalking 101: How to not talk to girls

[Rhekatou]

...yeah. She got over it.

For 2 days. Now she's back with her ex, whom she broke up with because all he wanted to do was get in her pants, and she wants me to do all these:

A) Be her boyfriend
B) Not be affiliated with her
C) Totally ignore her
D) Be put on hold

All of them. At once.

Well, I'll admit I'm kinda tired of being put on hold. She has been doing this for a while now. I'll probably move on if she deosn't make up her mind soon.

[EdoI]

Uh, I'm having a crap situation here.
My friend, who I know for my whole life, lives far away and comes to my neighborhood once in four months (that's nowadays, few years ago he'd come on weekends). He moved when we were 7 and started school. For the last three years we celebrated New Year together, but it wasn't very fun (we'd sit in front of computer through the whole night).
My friends from school, two of them are my best ones and third I don't like at all (but he seems to like me), are inviting me to join them. We're finishing school this year and this would probably be the last one together. I accepted their invitation last night.

Tonight, the worst possibility happened. The friend from the first part of the post, who I've seen three times this year so far and with who I planned nothing, called. He said: "When are we doing preparations for the New Year?" (he meant shopping and choosing location). I just said that I have to study for tomorrow's exam, and told him to call in 30 minutes. I had no idea what to do next, went to the friend (from the group) who's hosting this thing and asked if the loner friend (first part of the post) can be with us. He didn't like the idea.

Well, now I have to turn either good friend from childhood who's expecting me to be with him, or a group of school friends. I've chosen to turn off the loner, and I know that he's going to stay alone if I do it.
Fuck. it's all my fault, my mom told me that I must call the loner to see his plans, but I ignored her..

Thirty-five minutes passed from the loner's first call, I'm expecting him to call any seconds now. And I didn't lie about the exam, but I didn't study at all because I was preoccupied by New Year.

[SlappyMcGee]

These new friends refused to let your longtime friend come hang out with you dudes? That not only sounds unfair, it sounds like they aren't very good friends.

[t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư]

Guys.
Guys.
I counted the presents my family is going to be giving me, and it's two less than last year. I mean, I know we're in a recession and everything, but two less? Fucking ridiculous. My parents hate me. I'm going to take up crack and get a black boyfriend.

[Amadeus]

These new friends refused to let your longtime friend come hang out with you dudes? That not only sounds unfair, it sounds like they aren't very good friends.

Yeah, Edoi, I'd go with the longtimer. He sounds like a way better friend than the others.

[aids]

Guys.
Guys.
I counted the presents my family is going to be giving me, and it's two less than last year. I mean, I know we're in a recession and everything, but two less? Fucking ridiculous. My parents hate me. I'm going to take up crack and get a black boyfriend.

Just make sure you get your two presents from him.

[SlappyMcGee]

Crack and a black boyfriend were my /only/ two presents from my parents.

[otters]

Guys.
Guys.
I counted the presents my family is going to be giving me, and it's two less than last year. I mean, I know we're in a recession and everything, but two less? Fucking ridiculous. My parents hate me. I'm going to take up crack and get a black boyfriend.

You poor kid, Dudley.

[EdoI]

These new friends refused to let your longtime friend come hang out with you dudes? That not only sounds unfair, it sounds like they aren't very good friends.

Yeah, Edoi, I'd go with the longtimer. He sounds like a way better friend than the others.

They're not new guys, they've been my friends through the whole school, eight years.
I suspected he (he, the guy at whose home we're celebrating, the two other guys would probably be neutral) wouldn't like the idea of celebrating together because they already met once, and... well, they didn't like each other.

And the loner is a good friend, but our friendship quite cooled down since he got totally preoccupied with basketball. He has intensive trainings especially on weekends, so the last time I saw him was somewhere early in August. I had no idea what was going on with this New Year thing, it got very close and I didn't want to stay alone.

The reason the host guy stated was that he'd accept the loner, but his parents don't allow him to have that much people, especially if one of them would be someone they don't know.

[otters~1]

Rheketou, aren't you a *bit* young to be having girl trouble?

[Luminaflare]

Rheketou, aren't you a *bit* young to be having girl trouble?

Ideally yes, realistically no. Teens are getting in to and talking about this stuff younger and younger (Why back in my day laddy 14 year old girls wouldn't even think about calling characters in twilight "hot").

[Amadeus]

Oh god, it's awful. My brother's 11 and he's dating girls in his sixth grade class. I'm like, what the hell man, you're in fricken elementary school.

[T3chno]

Oh god, it's awful. My brother's 11 and he's dating girls in his sixth grade class. I'm like, what the hell man, you're in fricken elementary school.

6th grade is middle school.

[otters~1]

Oh god, it's awful. My brother's 11 and he's dating girls in his sixth grade class. I'm like, what the hell man, you're in fricken elementary school.

6th grade is middle school.

Um. Why don't you trust that he knows what he's talking about? The grade designations vary.

(LF: It's part of the general degeneration of society!)

[T3chno]

Um. Why don't you trust that he knows what he's talking about? The grade designations vary.

That wasn't my point, but okay. :D

[otters~1]

Um. Why don't you trust that he knows what he's talking about? The grade designations vary.

That wasn't my point, but okay. :D

Oops. I missed the sarcasm. My bad.

[Torex]

My life has really been crap lately.
Back in third grade, my parents put me on medication for ADD. Ever since the later half of the last school year, I secretly haven't been taking it. At school, I used to be able to get As and Bs, and do all of my work. The first two months of school, I barely did any of my work, and got Ds and Cs (along with 3 Bs and an A). Now, I'm juggling which classes I won't do work in, because I am being overloaded by all of them. My parents usually don't see the assignments I don't do, but when they see that I've got a B in a class, they tell me that it's okay, but that if I just did the work, I'd have such a better grade, and yet these Bs I'm getting are because I'm actually not getting As on all of my assignments. They're saying that I should be doing the work, because they know that I'll get As on it, when I'm not. I've still ended up staying up until two in the morning every other day, doing unfinished work, and I sleep through the first two periods of school almost everyday.
Not to mention that the girl that I've had a crush on for the past year but never asked out because we're good friends recently asked me to find out if my best friend liked her. Not that my friend is being a dick about this. He knows I like her, and he doesn't like her, and I'm still too nervous to ask her out.
And I can trace all of these problems back to my parents for putting me on this goddamn medication. They say I have ADD when I'm in third grade, only eight years old. So I went through the rest of elementary school becoming more and more socially awkward, because of the medication they put me on. Then I went through the first two years of middle school being this socially awkward kid, now that I'm not taking my medication anymore, I'm actually very normal, but everyone sees me as this weird kid. And, I don't do the work because I don't take my medication, because I'm only ever happy when I'm not taking the medication.
I just really need to tell someone all of my problems.

[SlappyMcGee]

I think that this medication is a convenient scapegoat for the problems that you have, but given the information that we have, I think that saying that the medication is the root of all of your problems is wrong. When you were on the medication, you were better at school, but gorram miserable. I get that. But it isn't the medication's fault that you don't do well in school without it. It sounds like you genuinely suffer from Attention Deficit Disorder, and that sucks, but you need to cope with the cards that have been given to you. It's not the medicine's fault here. I think that the best thing you can do in this situation is talk to your parents about how depressed you feel when you're on the medication. There would have to be medical alternatives.

I definitely don't think that what you are doing now, skipping the drugs, is healthy or a realistic solution to any of your problems. If these pills are making you depressed, that would have to be a chemical imbalance, and one that I'm sure your parents need to hear about.

And just as a last thing, I don't think that your women problems are related at all. This is the kind of shit that we all go through, at a pretty constant rate. There are entire sitcoms devoted to exactly that sort of thing, and entire threads on forums about the N game. Confidence is always an issue, and the particulars of your situation are as tragic as any I've heard. But take solace in the fact that this is the sort of thing that happened to me in high school all the time, and it never got any easier. (I know that isn't very reassuring, but it totally is.)

[Luminaflare]

ADD/ADHD can be diagnosed as early as four (I should know, I was diagnosed with it and Asperger's syndrome at 4). I understand what you mean about the medication but it shouldn't do anything to your social skills, if it's the same as my meds it'd just lower your heart rate or if its something different i imagine it'd just make you pay attention easier. Honestly dude, just talk to your parents about it.

[Destiny]

I've apparantly got ADD, and i know what you mean about the meds. I don't take them any more, since i can generally get by without them, and like you, they make me depressed. Try and think straight when you find yourself becoming distracted, and try to set your mind back onto the task at hand as best you can. It's pretty tough at first, but it gets easier the more you try. A little determination and tenacity is a much better solution than the meds any day in my books.

Last year at college i was being drowned in homework. I told my tutor in college that i was getting too much, and being punished for not doing some of it regularly, and she sorted everything out so that my teachers didnt such heavy workloads on me, and that's worked a treat. Maybe you could try and do something similar? You can use the ADD as a leverage point if they refuse you at first :P

About the girl - tell her how you feel. The moment doesnt have to be perfect or anything, but since it sounds like she's a really good friend, I doubt that anything bad could come of letting her know. If she likes you back, then bingo, you've got yourself a girlfriend. If she prefers to keep you as a friend, then nothing changes, and you've got a weight off your mind.

Best of luck, man.

[Donfuy]

Oh hm. I think I have ADD too. And don't you all come and say "Haha right. Fuck you and stop being fucking lazy.", cause fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, I have all the symptoms that are on the wikipedia article about it... and I always had those.

Also, Torex, you have the cliché love problem huh? Just go and talk to her. "Oh maybe it won't work." Fuck you.

[scythe]

Oh god, it's awful. My brother's 11 and he's dating girls in his sixth grade class. I'm like, what the hell man, you're in fricken elementary school.

He can call it whatever he wants, as far as I'm concerned.

[Scrivener]

Torex: 1. same MBTI type, woohoo
2. Asperger's? that sucks. sorry to hear about it. I have a friend with Aspergers, he gets picked on a ton.


ummm... i seem to be the only one in this thread without weird shit going on so... ummm...... adios

*be happy*
*don't worry*

[Torex]

Oh, I forgot to mention that I talked about it with my parents a year ago. They decided to barely lower the amount of medication I was getting, which didn't change anything for me, which is why I'm still not taking it

[SlappyMcGee]

Oh, I forgot to mention that I talked about it with my parents a year ago. They decided to barely lower the amount of medication I was getting, which didn't change anything for me, which is why I'm still not taking it

But they definitely showed a desire to make this change for you. You need to talk to them again.