Writing Reviews: What Works?

[darkcrusader]

I admit my reviews are bad. There it is. I know what doesn't work. Yes,I know I can't make everyone happy, but there are things that mainly everyone likes. So what do you reviewers out there find that works for your reviews? And those of you who aren't reviewers, what do you like in a review? Any answers to this would make the reviewing experience better for me, and everyone else in the process.

[Seneschal]

I admit my reviews are bad. There it is. I know what doesn't work. Yes,I know I can't make everyone happy, but there are things that mainly everyone likes. So what do you reviewers out there find that works for your reviews? And those of you who aren't reviewers, what do you like in a review? Any answers to this would make the reviewing experience better for me, and everyone else in the process.

Your reviews aren't bad. I believe most people object to your inclusion of a rating, not your writing style, because that's honestly fine. My own criticism of not being wholly positive in the review is one which other people seem not to mind, so you really shouldn't worry about that, either. Not everyone is going to like your reviews, naturally, but you shouldn't take this to mean that no-one does.

But in answer to your actual question, some things that I think reviews should have (and these aren't targeted at anyone in particular):

• Correct spelling (and grammar). It seriously isn't hard to just put your review into spellcheck before submitting, and it doesn't take very long to thoroughly read through 50-100 words. Get someone else to look at your review if you're really desperate or are unsure of particular spellings/grammatical points).
• Don't repeat words. Obviously words like 'and' and 'the' are exceptions, but generally it doesn't read well if you say something like 'The drones are nice, and the way in which the launchpads are used are nice, and the gold is nice, etc etc'. Use a thesaurus if you're really struggling, there's no shame in it, and the finished product will be all the better for it (although don't pick obscure words for the sake of using obscure words [unless you're gloomp])
• Don't go over the top in your use of a certain metaphor/story/simile/whatever (and yes, I'm sure I was guilty of a few of these back when I was a reviewer). If you do go for the 'creative' (or, if you're a detractor, a 'doesn't-actually-talk-about-the-map review') but don't nail it then it's going to come off like bad fan-fiction. I know it's hard to get this right; some people like PALEMOON and gloomp just seem to have a knack for it. I'd really recommend letting someone else read this kind of review before submitting it, because the chances are that they'll be able to tell you whether it's too corny or not (don't let them pussy out by being polite, either).

That's as much as I can think of right now; I hope it's helpful!

[Apakenua]

I do remember you writing one review about a gem, was it not?
If it wasn't you, it wasn't TOO far back there. It was way over the top.

[aids]

A review should write itself. If a map doesn't make you write a story or accurately describe why it's awesome, then either it shouldn't be featured or you shouldn't be a featurer. Now, it shouldn't be hard to come up with two or three a month if you regularly browse new maps and old maps, but if you struggle, it's not the end of the world. NUMA has a very short attention span, and missing a day will only matter until the next one comes, which is usually 24 hours from right now.

My only advice would be to look through Dronie nominated features and see what works best for that. Or, if you're up to it, browse the featured maps. All in all, if the map is truly a good one, the review doesn't matter.

[Vyacheslav]

Be clear and concise. Tell what works, what doesn't, sort of like a critique.

[otters~1]

Sometime this summer I went back and read a lot of my old reviews and they were all really funny and great and I was happy. So you might try reading some of them you know ahem.

Especially that gloomp map about Jackie Kennedy.

[origami_alligator]

my advice is to just write it and then read it out loud.

if it sounds weird and choppy when you hear it, it's going to read weird and choppy to everyone else.

Also, read all of the reviews ever. They will give you inspiration. Especially PALEMOON"s first review he ever made, and SundayMorningCall or one of Evil_Sire's many faces. He was a damn good reviewer even if he was a cock.

There are plenty of reviews to read that incorporate metaphors and similes seamlessly with the way the map plays. Don't spend too much time on your review but don't rush it either. Just write it and edit it until it feels right.

[squibbles]

Don't repeat words. Obviously words like 'and' and 'the' are exceptions

Sen, I was going to feature one of your maps fairly soon. You also said that it is a good idea to let people read drafts, so can you look at mine? This is what I have so far.

And and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and.

Ok, seriously, you are right - you'll never be able to please everyone, and it's good you realise this. I find that as long as you hold yourself to a reasonable standard, it doesn't matter what else. Just let the words flow, and write what comes naturally.

I personally also like to mix the style of my reviews up a fair bit, because, well, variety is always good. I'm not naive enough to try and tell you this is neccessary, but what I will say helps is finding a way to keep it interesting to you. If you are enjoying the writing process more, your writing will flourish, so try to find something in the reviews to make it more fun.

I do remember you writing one review about a gem, was it not?
If it wasn't you, it wasn't TOO far back there. It was way over the top.

?

[Apakenua]

Aah, Squibs. Found it:
Over the ol' top.

[Seneschal]

Don't repeat words. Obviously words like 'and' and 'the' are exceptions

Sen, I was going to feature one of your maps fairly soon. You also said that it is a good idea to let people read drafts, so can you look at mine? This is what I have so far.

And and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and.

Great review, although you could be a little more concise: some of those ands really don't need to be there, imo.