And then God dissapeared in a puff of logic.

Debate serious and interesting topics, rant about politics or pop culture, or otherwise converse in essay form about your opinions. The rules of conduct here are a little stricter.
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Postby Condog » 2008.11.23 (00:09)

blue_tetris wrote:
Condog wrote:So you don't let the subject of your worship do things to you? I thought the whole idea of worship was that you do what they say.
I must have a different definition of worship. For me, it's adoration, not subjectivity to command.
Ah, okay. I have no problem with that.
incluye wrote:That analogy is ridiculous in the first place. Why would God ask someone to be a rapist.
That's not the point. No one knows why God would do that. The point is, if he did ask someone to be a rapist, who are they to defy the will of God?
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Postby yungerkid » 2008.11.23 (00:27)

@condog: then we are debating the *possibility*? and you acknowledge that God would *never* do something (truly) morally objectionable (seeing as He is the creator of morality)? because if you operate on that premise, then there's really no reason to even consider that possibility. why consider the possibility of God being immoral if you know that it's never going to happen?

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Postby Condog » 2008.11.23 (00:44)

yungerkid wrote:@condog: then we are debating the *possibility*? and you acknowledge that God would *never* do something (truly) morally objectionable (seeing as He is the creator of morality)? because if you operate on that premise, then there's really no reason to even consider that possibility. why consider the possibility of God being immoral if you know that it's never going to happen?
I never acknowledged that, I am not operating on that premise, you are putting words in my mouth.

But lets consider that argument. You say God is "the creator of morality". If this is so, then surely it would be God who decides what morality is, what constitutes immorality, and whether or not to test that morality? And you say that you "know that is is never going to happen". I thought God was beyond the comprehension of us mere mortals. Who are you to presume you know Gods reasoning, how God thinks and how he deals with his concept of morality? Maybe if God created morality, then he is both moral and immoral.
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Postby yungerkid » 2008.11.23 (01:06)

God is not beyond our comprehension. our physical mortality has nothing to do with our mental acuity. God may not even be beyond logic, i'm not sure. but i know He's beyond morality. but while He can do whatever He wants, the likelihood that He will do something immoral is almost 0, if not 0.

by the way, God has already created morality. why would He change it? also the current morality is inherent in human nature. He would have to alter human nature to change morality. and i don't think He would do that. although it is possible.

"who are you to presume to know God's reasoning?"

are you saying that God discourages free thought? He absolutely does not! we are who we are! and God's reasoning is the same reasoning that we use. there is nothing mystical or unknowable about it. He just knows everything, so He can come to perfectly precise decisions. we don't, so we can't come to perfect conclusions. but that does not take away our right to question or learn about God, His teachings, or His morality.

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Postby otters » 2008.11.23 (01:23)

Condog wrote:
yungerkid wrote:@condog: then we are debating the *possibility*? and you acknowledge that God would *never* do something (truly) morally objectionable (seeing as He is the creator of morality)? because if you operate on that premise, then there's really no reason to even consider that possibility. why consider the possibility of God being immoral if you know that it's never going to happen?
I never acknowledged that, I am not operating on that premise, you are putting words in my mouth.

But lets consider that argument. You say God is "the creator of morality". If this is so, then surely it would be God who decides what morality is, what constitutes immorality, and whether or not to test that morality? And you say that you "know that is is never going to happen". I thought God was beyond the comprehension of us mere mortals. Who are you to presume you know Gods reasoning, how God thinks and how he deals with his concept of morality? Maybe if God created morality, then he is both moral and immoral.
That's a little odd.

No, he's moral. He's not immoral. He -is- morality.

Okay, Condog, for all practical purposes, God isn't going to do that. It's rather pointless to argue on an impossible issue. It's essentially debating whether everything is made of cats. Or as yungerkid said, on whether everything will suddenly turn into a cat of the same shape and mass. It has a ridiculously low probability, and is therefore useless to debate.
Last edited by otters on 2008.11.23 (02:39), edited 1 time in total.
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Postby yungerkid » 2008.11.23 (01:48)

incluye said everything i wanted to say. except i will clarify the last statement. it is like debating what would happen if every object currently made of metal turned into a cat of the same mass. it has an extremely low probability of happening, could happen for a variety of reasons that we can only speculate about, and is a total waste of time to talk about.

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Postby Sithmaster » 2008.11.30 (06:01)

I think at first, there would be riots, an increase in terrorism (religious nuts trying to kill the infidels who "killed" their God), etc.


But, then people would calm down, and people would start working on, and giving money to things. Things that would help people, not force them to join a religion. Although, there will always be people who believe in some higher being, even if they don't spend their life praising, they would still probably believe (at least somewhere "deep down").


Note: I'm not saying there would be world peace, I'm just saying that people might get along with one another better
quotes of the old forum

Blue_Tetris: Wait, wait wait. Does this mean I can break the rules to provoke a reaction and not get banned?
...awesome! The next few days are gonna be some fun.

Someguy: Eagles may soar in the sky, but weasels never get sucked right into a jet engine

Steven Colbert: I see patterns where they don't where they don't exist!!!

Mosh: Fishing for fish only works if the fish are hungry. Don't ask the fish why they don't bite. Rather, consider why they aren't biting.
Or simply chuck a grenade in the lake, pick up the dead fish, and call it a day.

capt_weasle: Mare is actually reagan who is really Tsukatu, who is actually just God. And you can't say he isn't because that would mean he doesnt believe in himself. He just has a low self esteem. Poor guy.

Palemoon:thanks, maestro. Now i can stop smearing paste on my face with a broom

Animator:Eat those poor gingerbread men? For shame. Do you know how many widows are in a gingerbread family? Millions. They have been fighting a war with humanity ever since they were made just to survive and live, with no luck! Think of the children, man! Those poor gingerbread children who are orpahns now, because their moms and dads were eaten, AND THEY WILL SHARE THE SAME FATE TOO! It's saddening. Please, go out there and raise money to save this ever-endangered reality of sugar and bread. Please, for the sake of this kind... think of the oven.

Player 1:You may very well be the first person on the planet to have his faced caved in by a fistful of turkey. Congratulations.

Image
Click here to feed me a Rare Candy!
Get your own at Pokeplushies!
Tsukatu Twilight Rant

BELLA parks her car and enters the school.
EDWARD: "Hello, Bella. I am very awkward, and I am a vampire."
Freeze frame: the text "protagonist, and also a vampire" appears, and an arrow pointing from the text to EDWARD blinks a few times.
BELLA: "I am infatuated with you." (she turns to the camera) "I am unaware that Edward is a vampire."
EDWARD: "I am infatuated with you, too, and I am a vampire."
BELLA: "Let's be awkward together." (she turns to the camera) "I am still unaware that Edward is a vampire."
EDWARD: "I completely agree, and I am very clearly a vampire."
(EDWARD does vampirey things.)
BELLA: "Thank you for saving my life."
EDWARD: "No problem, and I am a vampire."
BELLA: (to the camera) "I am beginning to suspect that Edward is not human."
EDWARD: "I am a vampire."
BELLA: "Are you a superhero?"
EDWARD: "No, I am a vampire."
BELLA: "What are you then?"
EDWARD: "I am not the good guy; I am the bad guy." (he turns to the camera) "That was a lie. I am very much the good guy." (he turns back to Bella) "Specifically, I am a vampire."
BELLA: (to the camera) "I am beginning to suspect that Edward is a vampire."

JACOB: "Hello, Bella, and I am very clearly a werewolf. Look at my wacky canines."
BELLA: "What do you have against Edward, anyway?"
JACOB: "I am a werewolf."
BELLA: "I am convinced that you are a normal human being."
JACOB: "Everyone in my tribe is a werewolf. I am in my tribe; I am also a werewolf. We are all werewolves."
BELLA: "I have no reason to believe that you are more than human."

And what exactly is Bella's problem? Why does she fall head-over-heels with an anti-social, almost preternaturally awkward, whiny, mascara-wearing emo cunt?

lord_day

I guess the guy who wrote XKCD was right. You can't be too stupid for youtube.

brocerius

When i say 'Abortion is murder' i mean just that; it is the taking of life - in that, from conception, a fetus is as definably life as is a bacteria, a puppy, or Stephen Hawking. This is how i think it differs from contraception, masturbation, and not screwing Dave.

Blue_Tetris quotes (all taken from a topic on abortion)

Eating vegetables instead of meat lowers your sperm count, clearly killing potential children. Vegetarians are murderers.

If a chair comes into my house and I don't want it there, I do everything in my power to remove it. What makes you think you have more rights than a chair when you go into someone else's home unannounced?

If I'm sleeping around without a condom, I'm likely to have a child too. When I wear a condom, I prevent the likely child I would have. Condoms are for murderers. I'm good at picking up dates and getting them into the sack, so if I restrain myself from going clubbing then I am prventing a potential child. Non-socialites are murderers.

GTM

What ever happened to the purpose of Christmas anyway, I thought it was about elves smacking each other over the head with a shovel whilst Santa drank whisky and egged them on.

I give you a laser printer and set it to stun

Tsukatu

Deathconsciousness: "Deism is closer to atheism than theism."
Demonz: "Oh? How's that?"
Deathconsciousness: "Well, deism is the belief that there's a-"
Demonz: *grabs airhorn* *FNNNRRRRRRRRTT*
Deathconsciousness: "..."
Demonz: *puts down airhorn* "Sorry, you were saying?"
Deathconsciousness: "...a being that created the uni-"
Demonz: *grabs airhorn* *FNNNRRRRRRRRTT*
Deathconsciousness: "..."
Demonz: *puts down airhorn* "Please continue."
Deathconsciousness: "Are you going to let me finish this time?"
Demonz: "Given that I had to stop you twice just now in the same sentence, I don't think that's likely."
*Tsukatu wanders in*
Tsukatu: "Anyone seen my airhorn?"
Demonz: "Yeah, it's right here. I needed to borrow it for a sec. I knew you wouldn't mind."
Tsukatu: "Oh, yeah, that's fine. I'm just about to head into the Okay With Gays thread."
Demonz: "Here you go." *hands Tsukatu the airhorn*
Tsukatu: "Thanks." *exits the thread*
Demonz: "Where were we?"
Deathconsciousness: "I was saying how atheists also believe th-"
Demonz: "AAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!"
Deathconsciousness: (startled) "What was that?"
Demonz: "Sorry, I don't have the airhorn anymore. Do go on."
Deathconsciousness: "..."
*an airhorn sounds in a nearby thread*

deathconsciousness

a lack of belief is still a belief that something in itself is lacking. please dont be arrogant.

demonzlunchbreak

What the jesus balls are you talking about?


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Postby Eiturlyf » 2008.11.30 (18:25)

If proof would come that God didn't exist, I'd be living happily ever after just like I am now.
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Postby Sithmaster » 2008.11.30 (19:56)

Eiturlyf wrote:If proof would come that God didn't exist, I'd be living happily ever after just like I am now.
QFE
quotes of the old forum

Blue_Tetris: Wait, wait wait. Does this mean I can break the rules to provoke a reaction and not get banned?
...awesome! The next few days are gonna be some fun.

Someguy: Eagles may soar in the sky, but weasels never get sucked right into a jet engine

Steven Colbert: I see patterns where they don't where they don't exist!!!

Mosh: Fishing for fish only works if the fish are hungry. Don't ask the fish why they don't bite. Rather, consider why they aren't biting.
Or simply chuck a grenade in the lake, pick up the dead fish, and call it a day.

capt_weasle: Mare is actually reagan who is really Tsukatu, who is actually just God. And you can't say he isn't because that would mean he doesnt believe in himself. He just has a low self esteem. Poor guy.

Palemoon:thanks, maestro. Now i can stop smearing paste on my face with a broom

Animator:Eat those poor gingerbread men? For shame. Do you know how many widows are in a gingerbread family? Millions. They have been fighting a war with humanity ever since they were made just to survive and live, with no luck! Think of the children, man! Those poor gingerbread children who are orpahns now, because their moms and dads were eaten, AND THEY WILL SHARE THE SAME FATE TOO! It's saddening. Please, go out there and raise money to save this ever-endangered reality of sugar and bread. Please, for the sake of this kind... think of the oven.

Player 1:You may very well be the first person on the planet to have his faced caved in by a fistful of turkey. Congratulations.

Image
Click here to feed me a Rare Candy!
Get your own at Pokeplushies!
Tsukatu Twilight Rant

BELLA parks her car and enters the school.
EDWARD: "Hello, Bella. I am very awkward, and I am a vampire."
Freeze frame: the text "protagonist, and also a vampire" appears, and an arrow pointing from the text to EDWARD blinks a few times.
BELLA: "I am infatuated with you." (she turns to the camera) "I am unaware that Edward is a vampire."
EDWARD: "I am infatuated with you, too, and I am a vampire."
BELLA: "Let's be awkward together." (she turns to the camera) "I am still unaware that Edward is a vampire."
EDWARD: "I completely agree, and I am very clearly a vampire."
(EDWARD does vampirey things.)
BELLA: "Thank you for saving my life."
EDWARD: "No problem, and I am a vampire."
BELLA: (to the camera) "I am beginning to suspect that Edward is not human."
EDWARD: "I am a vampire."
BELLA: "Are you a superhero?"
EDWARD: "No, I am a vampire."
BELLA: "What are you then?"
EDWARD: "I am not the good guy; I am the bad guy." (he turns to the camera) "That was a lie. I am very much the good guy." (he turns back to Bella) "Specifically, I am a vampire."
BELLA: (to the camera) "I am beginning to suspect that Edward is a vampire."

JACOB: "Hello, Bella, and I am very clearly a werewolf. Look at my wacky canines."
BELLA: "What do you have against Edward, anyway?"
JACOB: "I am a werewolf."
BELLA: "I am convinced that you are a normal human being."
JACOB: "Everyone in my tribe is a werewolf. I am in my tribe; I am also a werewolf. We are all werewolves."
BELLA: "I have no reason to believe that you are more than human."

And what exactly is Bella's problem? Why does she fall head-over-heels with an anti-social, almost preternaturally awkward, whiny, mascara-wearing emo cunt?

lord_day

I guess the guy who wrote XKCD was right. You can't be too stupid for youtube.

brocerius

When i say 'Abortion is murder' i mean just that; it is the taking of life - in that, from conception, a fetus is as definably life as is a bacteria, a puppy, or Stephen Hawking. This is how i think it differs from contraception, masturbation, and not screwing Dave.

Blue_Tetris quotes (all taken from a topic on abortion)

Eating vegetables instead of meat lowers your sperm count, clearly killing potential children. Vegetarians are murderers.

If a chair comes into my house and I don't want it there, I do everything in my power to remove it. What makes you think you have more rights than a chair when you go into someone else's home unannounced?

If I'm sleeping around without a condom, I'm likely to have a child too. When I wear a condom, I prevent the likely child I would have. Condoms are for murderers. I'm good at picking up dates and getting them into the sack, so if I restrain myself from going clubbing then I am prventing a potential child. Non-socialites are murderers.

GTM

What ever happened to the purpose of Christmas anyway, I thought it was about elves smacking each other over the head with a shovel whilst Santa drank whisky and egged them on.

I give you a laser printer and set it to stun

Tsukatu

Deathconsciousness: "Deism is closer to atheism than theism."
Demonz: "Oh? How's that?"
Deathconsciousness: "Well, deism is the belief that there's a-"
Demonz: *grabs airhorn* *FNNNRRRRRRRRTT*
Deathconsciousness: "..."
Demonz: *puts down airhorn* "Sorry, you were saying?"
Deathconsciousness: "...a being that created the uni-"
Demonz: *grabs airhorn* *FNNNRRRRRRRRTT*
Deathconsciousness: "..."
Demonz: *puts down airhorn* "Please continue."
Deathconsciousness: "Are you going to let me finish this time?"
Demonz: "Given that I had to stop you twice just now in the same sentence, I don't think that's likely."
*Tsukatu wanders in*
Tsukatu: "Anyone seen my airhorn?"
Demonz: "Yeah, it's right here. I needed to borrow it for a sec. I knew you wouldn't mind."
Tsukatu: "Oh, yeah, that's fine. I'm just about to head into the Okay With Gays thread."
Demonz: "Here you go." *hands Tsukatu the airhorn*
Tsukatu: "Thanks." *exits the thread*
Demonz: "Where were we?"
Deathconsciousness: "I was saying how atheists also believe th-"
Demonz: "AAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!"
Deathconsciousness: (startled) "What was that?"
Demonz: "Sorry, I don't have the airhorn anymore. Do go on."
Deathconsciousness: "..."
*an airhorn sounds in a nearby thread*

deathconsciousness

a lack of belief is still a belief that something in itself is lacking. please dont be arrogant.

demonzlunchbreak

What the jesus balls are you talking about?


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Postby otters » 2008.11.30 (21:22)

Sithmaster wrote:
Eiturlyf wrote:If proof would come that God didn't exist, I'd be living happily ever after just like I am now.
QFE
BWAMCA
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Postby Sithmaster » 2008.11.30 (23:03)

incluye wrote: BWAMCA

???
quotes of the old forum

Blue_Tetris: Wait, wait wait. Does this mean I can break the rules to provoke a reaction and not get banned?
...awesome! The next few days are gonna be some fun.

Someguy: Eagles may soar in the sky, but weasels never get sucked right into a jet engine

Steven Colbert: I see patterns where they don't where they don't exist!!!

Mosh: Fishing for fish only works if the fish are hungry. Don't ask the fish why they don't bite. Rather, consider why they aren't biting.
Or simply chuck a grenade in the lake, pick up the dead fish, and call it a day.

capt_weasle: Mare is actually reagan who is really Tsukatu, who is actually just God. And you can't say he isn't because that would mean he doesnt believe in himself. He just has a low self esteem. Poor guy.

Palemoon:thanks, maestro. Now i can stop smearing paste on my face with a broom

Animator:Eat those poor gingerbread men? For shame. Do you know how many widows are in a gingerbread family? Millions. They have been fighting a war with humanity ever since they were made just to survive and live, with no luck! Think of the children, man! Those poor gingerbread children who are orpahns now, because their moms and dads were eaten, AND THEY WILL SHARE THE SAME FATE TOO! It's saddening. Please, go out there and raise money to save this ever-endangered reality of sugar and bread. Please, for the sake of this kind... think of the oven.

Player 1:You may very well be the first person on the planet to have his faced caved in by a fistful of turkey. Congratulations.

Image
Click here to feed me a Rare Candy!
Get your own at Pokeplushies!
Tsukatu Twilight Rant

BELLA parks her car and enters the school.
EDWARD: "Hello, Bella. I am very awkward, and I am a vampire."
Freeze frame: the text "protagonist, and also a vampire" appears, and an arrow pointing from the text to EDWARD blinks a few times.
BELLA: "I am infatuated with you." (she turns to the camera) "I am unaware that Edward is a vampire."
EDWARD: "I am infatuated with you, too, and I am a vampire."
BELLA: "Let's be awkward together." (she turns to the camera) "I am still unaware that Edward is a vampire."
EDWARD: "I completely agree, and I am very clearly a vampire."
(EDWARD does vampirey things.)
BELLA: "Thank you for saving my life."
EDWARD: "No problem, and I am a vampire."
BELLA: (to the camera) "I am beginning to suspect that Edward is not human."
EDWARD: "I am a vampire."
BELLA: "Are you a superhero?"
EDWARD: "No, I am a vampire."
BELLA: "What are you then?"
EDWARD: "I am not the good guy; I am the bad guy." (he turns to the camera) "That was a lie. I am very much the good guy." (he turns back to Bella) "Specifically, I am a vampire."
BELLA: (to the camera) "I am beginning to suspect that Edward is a vampire."

JACOB: "Hello, Bella, and I am very clearly a werewolf. Look at my wacky canines."
BELLA: "What do you have against Edward, anyway?"
JACOB: "I am a werewolf."
BELLA: "I am convinced that you are a normal human being."
JACOB: "Everyone in my tribe is a werewolf. I am in my tribe; I am also a werewolf. We are all werewolves."
BELLA: "I have no reason to believe that you are more than human."

And what exactly is Bella's problem? Why does she fall head-over-heels with an anti-social, almost preternaturally awkward, whiny, mascara-wearing emo cunt?

lord_day

I guess the guy who wrote XKCD was right. You can't be too stupid for youtube.

brocerius

When i say 'Abortion is murder' i mean just that; it is the taking of life - in that, from conception, a fetus is as definably life as is a bacteria, a puppy, or Stephen Hawking. This is how i think it differs from contraception, masturbation, and not screwing Dave.

Blue_Tetris quotes (all taken from a topic on abortion)

Eating vegetables instead of meat lowers your sperm count, clearly killing potential children. Vegetarians are murderers.

If a chair comes into my house and I don't want it there, I do everything in my power to remove it. What makes you think you have more rights than a chair when you go into someone else's home unannounced?

If I'm sleeping around without a condom, I'm likely to have a child too. When I wear a condom, I prevent the likely child I would have. Condoms are for murderers. I'm good at picking up dates and getting them into the sack, so if I restrain myself from going clubbing then I am prventing a potential child. Non-socialites are murderers.

GTM

What ever happened to the purpose of Christmas anyway, I thought it was about elves smacking each other over the head with a shovel whilst Santa drank whisky and egged them on.

I give you a laser printer and set it to stun

Tsukatu

Deathconsciousness: "Deism is closer to atheism than theism."
Demonz: "Oh? How's that?"
Deathconsciousness: "Well, deism is the belief that there's a-"
Demonz: *grabs airhorn* *FNNNRRRRRRRRTT*
Deathconsciousness: "..."
Demonz: *puts down airhorn* "Sorry, you were saying?"
Deathconsciousness: "...a being that created the uni-"
Demonz: *grabs airhorn* *FNNNRRRRRRRRTT*
Deathconsciousness: "..."
Demonz: *puts down airhorn* "Please continue."
Deathconsciousness: "Are you going to let me finish this time?"
Demonz: "Given that I had to stop you twice just now in the same sentence, I don't think that's likely."
*Tsukatu wanders in*
Tsukatu: "Anyone seen my airhorn?"
Demonz: "Yeah, it's right here. I needed to borrow it for a sec. I knew you wouldn't mind."
Tsukatu: "Oh, yeah, that's fine. I'm just about to head into the Okay With Gays thread."
Demonz: "Here you go." *hands Tsukatu the airhorn*
Tsukatu: "Thanks." *exits the thread*
Demonz: "Where were we?"
Deathconsciousness: "I was saying how atheists also believe th-"
Demonz: "AAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!"
Deathconsciousness: (startled) "What was that?"
Demonz: "Sorry, I don't have the airhorn anymore. Do go on."
Deathconsciousness: "..."
*an airhorn sounds in a nearby thread*

deathconsciousness

a lack of belief is still a belief that something in itself is lacking. please dont be arrogant.

demonzlunchbreak

What the jesus balls are you talking about?


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Postby handofgod » 2008.12.01 (01:22)

Who's seen that South Park episode where Mr/Mrs Garrison and his/her lover dream of a future without religion? And when that finally happens in the far future there is no religion, and there are still wars between different societies of atheists.

So, yah.
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Postby Condog » 2008.12.01 (01:42)

handofgod wrote:Who's seen that South Park episode where Mr/Mrs Garrison and his/her lover dream of a future without religion? And when that finally happens in the far future there is no religion, and there are still wars between different societies of atheists.

So, yah.
That doesn't really apply to this situation. They weren't fighting about different atheist ideals, they were fighting over the name for the atheist group as a whole. Personally I agree with the sea otters - Allied Atheist Allegiance. I mean c'mon, it has three A's.
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Postby scythe » 2008.12.01 (03:50)

handofgod wrote:Who's seen that South Park episode where Mr/Mrs Garrison and his/her lover dream of a future without religion? And when that finally happens in the far future there is no religion, and there are still wars between different societies of atheists.

So, yah.
The point of that episode isn't that atheism will or will not end conflict, it was that while religion may be outdated, you don't have to be a jerk about it.

Oh come on. You laughed, and you know it.

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Postby t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư » 2008.12.03 (02:30)

>_>
[spoiler="you know i always joked that it would be scary as hell to run into DMX in a dark ally, but secretly when i say 'DMX' i really mean 'Tsukatu'." -kai]"... and when i say 'scary as hell' i really mean 'tight pink shirt'." -kai[/spoiler][/i]
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Postby Sithmaster » 2008.12.03 (21:16)

wow, Twist got banned for a post? what did he say (in general)?


also, I thought the point of that South Park episode was that changing the future can make an Atheist Utopia.
quotes of the old forum

Blue_Tetris: Wait, wait wait. Does this mean I can break the rules to provoke a reaction and not get banned?
...awesome! The next few days are gonna be some fun.

Someguy: Eagles may soar in the sky, but weasels never get sucked right into a jet engine

Steven Colbert: I see patterns where they don't where they don't exist!!!

Mosh: Fishing for fish only works if the fish are hungry. Don't ask the fish why they don't bite. Rather, consider why they aren't biting.
Or simply chuck a grenade in the lake, pick up the dead fish, and call it a day.

capt_weasle: Mare is actually reagan who is really Tsukatu, who is actually just God. And you can't say he isn't because that would mean he doesnt believe in himself. He just has a low self esteem. Poor guy.

Palemoon:thanks, maestro. Now i can stop smearing paste on my face with a broom

Animator:Eat those poor gingerbread men? For shame. Do you know how many widows are in a gingerbread family? Millions. They have been fighting a war with humanity ever since they were made just to survive and live, with no luck! Think of the children, man! Those poor gingerbread children who are orpahns now, because their moms and dads were eaten, AND THEY WILL SHARE THE SAME FATE TOO! It's saddening. Please, go out there and raise money to save this ever-endangered reality of sugar and bread. Please, for the sake of this kind... think of the oven.

Player 1:You may very well be the first person on the planet to have his faced caved in by a fistful of turkey. Congratulations.

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Get your own at Pokeplushies!
Tsukatu Twilight Rant

BELLA parks her car and enters the school.
EDWARD: "Hello, Bella. I am very awkward, and I am a vampire."
Freeze frame: the text "protagonist, and also a vampire" appears, and an arrow pointing from the text to EDWARD blinks a few times.
BELLA: "I am infatuated with you." (she turns to the camera) "I am unaware that Edward is a vampire."
EDWARD: "I am infatuated with you, too, and I am a vampire."
BELLA: "Let's be awkward together." (she turns to the camera) "I am still unaware that Edward is a vampire."
EDWARD: "I completely agree, and I am very clearly a vampire."
(EDWARD does vampirey things.)
BELLA: "Thank you for saving my life."
EDWARD: "No problem, and I am a vampire."
BELLA: (to the camera) "I am beginning to suspect that Edward is not human."
EDWARD: "I am a vampire."
BELLA: "Are you a superhero?"
EDWARD: "No, I am a vampire."
BELLA: "What are you then?"
EDWARD: "I am not the good guy; I am the bad guy." (he turns to the camera) "That was a lie. I am very much the good guy." (he turns back to Bella) "Specifically, I am a vampire."
BELLA: (to the camera) "I am beginning to suspect that Edward is a vampire."

JACOB: "Hello, Bella, and I am very clearly a werewolf. Look at my wacky canines."
BELLA: "What do you have against Edward, anyway?"
JACOB: "I am a werewolf."
BELLA: "I am convinced that you are a normal human being."
JACOB: "Everyone in my tribe is a werewolf. I am in my tribe; I am also a werewolf. We are all werewolves."
BELLA: "I have no reason to believe that you are more than human."

And what exactly is Bella's problem? Why does she fall head-over-heels with an anti-social, almost preternaturally awkward, whiny, mascara-wearing emo cunt?

lord_day

I guess the guy who wrote XKCD was right. You can't be too stupid for youtube.

brocerius

When i say 'Abortion is murder' i mean just that; it is the taking of life - in that, from conception, a fetus is as definably life as is a bacteria, a puppy, or Stephen Hawking. This is how i think it differs from contraception, masturbation, and not screwing Dave.

Blue_Tetris quotes (all taken from a topic on abortion)

Eating vegetables instead of meat lowers your sperm count, clearly killing potential children. Vegetarians are murderers.

If a chair comes into my house and I don't want it there, I do everything in my power to remove it. What makes you think you have more rights than a chair when you go into someone else's home unannounced?

If I'm sleeping around without a condom, I'm likely to have a child too. When I wear a condom, I prevent the likely child I would have. Condoms are for murderers. I'm good at picking up dates and getting them into the sack, so if I restrain myself from going clubbing then I am prventing a potential child. Non-socialites are murderers.

GTM

What ever happened to the purpose of Christmas anyway, I thought it was about elves smacking each other over the head with a shovel whilst Santa drank whisky and egged them on.

I give you a laser printer and set it to stun

Tsukatu

Deathconsciousness: "Deism is closer to atheism than theism."
Demonz: "Oh? How's that?"
Deathconsciousness: "Well, deism is the belief that there's a-"
Demonz: *grabs airhorn* *FNNNRRRRRRRRTT*
Deathconsciousness: "..."
Demonz: *puts down airhorn* "Sorry, you were saying?"
Deathconsciousness: "...a being that created the uni-"
Demonz: *grabs airhorn* *FNNNRRRRRRRRTT*
Deathconsciousness: "..."
Demonz: *puts down airhorn* "Please continue."
Deathconsciousness: "Are you going to let me finish this time?"
Demonz: "Given that I had to stop you twice just now in the same sentence, I don't think that's likely."
*Tsukatu wanders in*
Tsukatu: "Anyone seen my airhorn?"
Demonz: "Yeah, it's right here. I needed to borrow it for a sec. I knew you wouldn't mind."
Tsukatu: "Oh, yeah, that's fine. I'm just about to head into the Okay With Gays thread."
Demonz: "Here you go." *hands Tsukatu the airhorn*
Tsukatu: "Thanks." *exits the thread*
Demonz: "Where were we?"
Deathconsciousness: "I was saying how atheists also believe th-"
Demonz: "AAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!"
Deathconsciousness: (startled) "What was that?"
Demonz: "Sorry, I don't have the airhorn anymore. Do go on."
Deathconsciousness: "..."
*an airhorn sounds in a nearby thread*

deathconsciousness

a lack of belief is still a belief that something in itself is lacking. please dont be arrogant.

demonzlunchbreak

What the jesus balls are you talking about?


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Postby Tanner » 2008.12.03 (21:22)

Sithmaster wrote:wow, Twist got banned for a post? what did he say (in general)?
He disagreed with Suki. Let it be known that Tsukatu is a real... User was banned for this post.
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Postby Twistkill » 2008.12.03 (22:15)

Actually, I quoted scythe's post and said "User was banned for this post." because he was making fun of Suki's tendency to be overzealous in religious debates. What I should have done was add the line to the end of scythe's post... in fact, lemme do that now. Because I can. And because mommy told me to.
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Postby t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư » 2008.12.03 (22:57)

I'm not a blue independent clause...
[spoiler="you know i always joked that it would be scary as hell to run into DMX in a dark ally, but secretly when i say 'DMX' i really mean 'Tsukatu'." -kai]"... and when i say 'scary as hell' i really mean 'tight pink shirt'." -kai[/spoiler][/i]
spoiler

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Postby otters » 2008.12.03 (23:10)

Tsukatu wrote:I'm not a blue independent clause...
That's what /she/ said.
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